For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart. – Ecclesiastes 5:20
A long time ago in a land (maybe not so) far away, there was the Could Have Beens. The Could Have Beens were the missed opportunities, the roads not taken and the what ifs. They lived in the past and thought about all sorts of things. They visited us, and we visited them. We spent time with the Could Have Beens and sometimes the Could Have Beens stayed with us longer than they should have.
Regret is something all humans experience. Remembering the past can be both a good or bad thing. Good memories fill us with happiness and contentment. Sad or unhappy memories can remind us of things we could have done or didn’t do. They bring regret along for the ride and before you know it, you begin to wonder about what life would be like if you made a different choice or decided to take a risk. You begin to look at your life now and you wish you could go back and change things.
Remembering the past is okay but it is when we spend too much time there it may do more harm than good. God doesn’t want us to dwell in the past, He wants us look ahead. Wishing for the good old days or for the long-lost love keeps us bogged down and prevents us from seeing what God has for us now and in the future.
If something was meant to happen then it would have happened, especially if it was in God’s plan for you. The fact that something didn’t happen means that God has bigger things in mind for you. Standing still and regretting things stop both you and God from moving forwards. He watches sadly as you remember and imagine the what ifs, hoping all the while that you won’t follow and decide to stay there.
God doesn’t mind that we remember things as He know we will. Memories dim with time and the way we see things may not be the way it actually was. God knew then just as He knows now what the reality was. There was a reason why it didn’t happen. We may never know what it was, but God does, and He was and is still putting our best interests first. Even if the choice wasn’t yours, God will still make sure that you are victorious in the end. He cares for us, and He wants to make sure that we are occupied with more joyful things.
Focussing on the here and now is what and where God wants us to be. Life may have been good in the past, but it is a whole lot better now. If remembering brings regrets and sadness, then you need to let go and let God. It is a new day and the time for mourning our losses are over. Accept what happened, say goodbye to the Could Have Beens and then move on. It’s time to start living the abundant life God always meant you to have.
Originally published October 2018